Chapter 32:

Chapter 32

~~~~Tai Su~~~~

Human senses are each distinct things. Smell and taste are connected yes, same for heat and touch, but all of the others each have their organs one can use to feel them and one organ should not experience the others.

Why is it then that I can smell my own suffering?

The answer is always Qi.

The Weather is bad? Qi.

Are you smelling something funny or vile? Then you're smelling Qi.

Is the very act of thinking painful? I blame Qi for it.

"The darkness hurts." I mumbled weakly.

It should be the light hurts, but light gives me something to focus on, but my eyes are covered and so I am forced to think and thinking hurts.

I removed the cloth covering my eyes and was met by the sky. There were some tree branches above me, which told me we weren't in a supply drop point, but a small clearing.

"You're awake Tai Su." A male voice said as it startled me slightly.

The smell of relief tickled my nose, which told me that at least some of my senses worked like before. You never know these days as new ones seem to pop out of nowhere.

"Cheng, where are the rest? And why are you barefoot?" I asked.

The man was topless and barefoot now, his white shirt and brown boots somewhere I couldn't see. I also couldn't see anyone but him in the makeshift camp, albeit calling it a camp was generous.

I realized that I also was barefoot, but that made sense as the last thing I remember was passing a river and sleeping with wet boots is a horrible experience.

The only thing around was the small blanket I was sleeping on, piles of our bags and backpacks and Cheng.

"Ya Xue woke up an hour or so ago I think and everyone decided to spread around and try to find the supply drop as jumping up on the trees only showed more trees and the mountains. I'm barefoot because everyone's shoes were left to dry and Haoran only have a spare between the two of us, so he had to take them." He answered.

So they split again in two. This means we'll have to leave tomorrow. We'll need to hurry now, because our water will last us two or three days of physical activity at most and the map had no more rivers or water sources between us and the sect.

We'll have to find the supply drop to know roughly where we are and see if maybe this one has some supplies then head towards the mountain.

We'll also have to think of how to deal with the other Applicants. The cherry skirts are getting a beating by default unless Ya Xue is willing to guarantee for them, but those that aren't affiliated with a banner would be tricky. I have no doubt the sect isn't watching us, so even if I was inclined towards doing otherwise we'll have to deal with them peacefully.

"Here, you need to drink some. Don't worry we pulled the Qi out of the water already." Cheng said as he pulled me out of my planning.

He gave me one of the water skins and a wooden bowl with rice and a flatbun on it that had seen better days. I drank a bit of water then put it by the side then addressed him.

"Thank you." I said as I picked them up and started to eat.

I could not smell any of the inebriating sewer rot smell I could before, even if there was a faint whiff of something flowery coming from the waterskin still. The food was the same as always, salty but otherwise flat in taste which was better than just rice.

I wasn't hungry, but I knew this to be due to the fact my mind was focused on something else. I've always had to be reminded that I need to eat as it is rare for me to feel hungry when most other people are even as my body still needs the same if not more food than most people.

"Bao told you to give me food when I woke up?" I asked as I finished the rice and put the wooden bowl down.

That sounded like something that Bao would do as she is the one that usually makes sure I remember to eat before I realize I need it and start barely being able to walk from stomach ache and hunger.

I kept the flatbread for last, simply because munching on it slowly is relaxing and lets me think.

"Yes, she told me you keep forgetting to eat, which is strange, I never forgot to eat, my stomach keeps reminding me I need to." He answered with shrug.

"My stomach is a lazy bum and Bao knows of its laziness." I answered with a smirk then proceeded to take a small bite of the flatbread.

Cheng chuckled at my poor attempt of a joke and sat in front of me.

The flatbread was starting to get a bit stale, probably because it wasn't sealed properly but the others should last for a few more days still. Food is not an issue for us still, water is.

"What's the plan?" Cheng asked.

I could taste his curiosity and uncertainty even as his face showed none of it. His face was blank and the tone in his voice told me even less than his face.

"I don't have one yet, but our current most pressing issues are the other Applicants to enter the sect. I don't know what supplies they still have but it will matter, because if they have plenty still they'll be less inclined to try and attack us for ours." I answered.

All of them had a few days head start, as we used our first day of the trial to get more information then had my group focus on getting used to the wilder attitude cultivation instills in you. I don't know if everyone did the latter or not but I imagine we are further behind than most.

Hopefully most people finished the trial already and we can just walk unimpeded. There's no rule saying we need to fight after all, we only need to reach the sect and there is no cap to the number of people that the sect will take in.

I don't live hoping for the best, as a matter of principle I refuse to live like that.

"Not what I meant but it's good to know." He answered simply.

I put the half eaten flatbread into the wooden bowl and looked properly at Cheng. His face bore some resemblance to Mei Lin's soft features, but his brown eyes which were now locked on mine had a slightly different shade to them. I could swear they had the same shade before but maybe the Qi is just making it more obvious?

"What do you mean then?" I asked back.

I could guess, but I needed him to say it.

"After we succeed the Trial, what happens then?" He clarified.

So we're having this conversation then, fine, let's see where it takes us.

"That depends, are you willing to follow your sister into what I am building?"

"Haoran and I aren't letting our sister be alone, where she goes we follow.."

There was steel in his voice, which was commendable, but it also made me curious as to why where these two so loyal to Mei Lin and why still they were here when Mei Lin absolutely did not want to be. We've talked a bit and from what she's told me she has an extreme aversion to risk and there's nothing riskier than being a cultivator.

"Why are you cultivators then? You know the stories, you know that cultivators live and die violently and that there was a huge risk of all of you dying before you even become one and I know for sure it wasn't Mei Lin's choice."

It was a question I had started to ask myself too, and the answer was that it was worth it.

I am not some power hungry maniac but I am ambitious. I want the power to protect what I have, to make my family no longer need to live in little more than mud huts and to do that I need to have true personal power at my hands.

All of my life my well being and opportunities depended on others being willing to honor their vows, from the Southern Lemon Tree Banner being willing to honor their promise to father, from the lords being willing to honor their fealty promises, to even teacher Hao Wen even being willing to honor her promise of teaching me or the promise of giving Bao and I a place of honor in her homeland. All that I had depended on what others were willing to give me and I wanted something that I had and nobody else could rescind from me and the personal power of a cultivator is the only thing within reach.

"I know what my sister is, Haoran and I were told by our parents as they too knew. Neither of us cares, our sister looked after us, raised us once our parents were gone and all she asked of us was to look after her if she ever can't do it herself one day. We can't do that back home, we lack the opportunities parents are meant to give you and the three of us could barely look after ourselves. So we decided to become cultivators, enrolled in the civilian test track and did our best so that we would have the chance to become cultivators." He answered.

"How were you able to do so? If you could barely look after yourself I can't imagine you also had the time to study." I asked.

The man chuckled as if he recalled something funny.

" Entering the track is free, but you being able to stay depends on your test scores. The clans have insisted on having the best ten of the students receive a pension to help the truly talented and have them not worry about monetary needs. They never expected anyone but clan members could take said pension, but the three of us each got the tenth place in case of Mei and Haoran and I were tied for ninth so as long as our studies continued we could live off better than most." He answered with a smirk.

I chuckled too, serves the bastards right trying to give themselves one more advantage by being tricky and pretending otherwise.

"I don't imagine they were happy about it."

"They weren't and had us split the pension of ninth place in two instead of giving each of us one, but them insisting on outsiders checking the tests to prevent cheating meant they had no choice but to accept it, especially as general Fa used her authority to stop any nonsense from affecting the Sect Admittance Trials."

This time my chuckle turned into a proper laugh.

General Fa was the general of the Cherry Tree Banner and from all I've heard of her a corrupt woman deep in the pockets of the northern clans. If she decided to throw her weight behind something and go against her supporters then that meant her own superiors told her that if she tried something she would regret it.

The clans paying for some of her banner's expenses only counted for so much when the Empress wanted something. After all the clans can't protect her from the Empress.

"They definitely weren't happy about that." I replied.

"No, they weren't but they stopped trying to mess with us after General Fa made it clear that when she found out who was trying to mess with the trial she will personally put the offending clan on a pike. We didn't have the time to think about whether we should try and file a complaint when General Fa personally came and made a public announcement in the city square and nailed posters to various buildings." He continued with amusement oozing from his voice.

I winced at that. It's one thing to take a stance on something. Just using the word when and not if was a harsh response, but making such a public declaration? Anyone going against it would have in essence declared war against her personally.

I may not respect her anymore once I heard what her subordinates get up to, but a general of the Banners is not someone you try to go to blows with unless you are someone of equal or higher standing.

"Good, at least she can do something right and stand up to the clans, she just chooses not to." I answered as I considered how to answer his original question.

"Yes, it does put things into perspective." He replied plainly.

The two of us fell into a temporary silence as he awaited for me to formulate an answer to his original question.

"You will follow your older sister? Even if it means she'll join the clan I'm planning to form?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"Yes, being a part of a clan is better than having no clan and as it will be a cultivator clan it's even better than normal. We decided to be cultivators for opportunities as we had none ourselves without a family, it would be strange if we turned down the first opportunity that came to us. We're perfectly willing to be part of a branch of a clan as opposed to its main members." He answered.

That's reasonable enough. If they are starved for opportunities then just being in a small clan is more than they could otherwise expect. It is strange to be considered without opportunity when one is a cultivator though.

Before I met teacher Hao Wen I thought having a cultivator in your family was a considered an opportunity or a boon, the Lins thinking they need more of them is strange to me but I suppose it makes sense to them.

They've lived all their lives with the exact opposite problem to me, all of their successes were things they had to claw through themselves, they had little in the way of connections but could seize opportunities as there plenty of them being thrown around while I had little to no chance to get anything myself without relying on others as there were little to no opportunities or resources for me to seize.

"Very well, my plan, if it could even be called that is simple. Bao wants children and our stay and education in the sect is unlikely to be free. The plan is to have Bao, Ya Xue and Mei Lin each take turns with giving birth while everyone else works to pay for their stay as well with Bao first and then whichever one of them wants to go next. If the two of you get married or want me to help you with that then we can get your wives added to that rotation as well as you will be a part of Mei Lin's branch." I explained

"That seems pretty bare." He said as he squinted his eyes at me.

It was my turn to shrug now.

"I don't know more about how sect life goes to plan for more, I don't even know if what I want to do is possible, but I am making a clan specifically because Bao wants children as soon as possible and sharing work and responsibilities between families is what clans are for."

Clans are multiple families linked strongly or tenuously by multiple bonds of marriage and the like. They exist to ensure that multiple families pool their resources together so that their next generations have an easier time than the previous ones.

Normal clans work together and share the work and spoils of their work to ensure all live well, and they pool in resources to get their most talented children the chance to succeed and lift the entire clan up while also making sure that those less talented or able can still find work and won't just starve alone. It's not a perfect system, but it ensures that those in it are never alone against the world.

My clan would work similarly, the women take turns giving birth and recovering for a bit while everyone else does their work for them too, then they do the same for the others and depending on what one needs to do to remain in the sect then we can decide how long that period of recovery and exclusive child rearing duty is.

"Fair enough, Haoran and us won't need the help to find ourselves wives, but will we need approval to get them into the clan?" He asked.

I thought about it, how much power do I truly want to hold over my clan?

"No, you won't need my approval, but if I think they are not doing their duties, bring too much discord or trouble then I can forbid or annul the match if it hasn't already bore fruit. Otherwise even if I don't like them personally you'll be able to marry whoever you want, same for your children." I answered promptly.

Having to constantly approve each marriage sounds like a chore I can't be bothered with. Letting my clan members marry whoever they want as long as it doesn't bring trouble is probably far more permissive than would be wise, but unless they are my children I don't care who my clan members marry, their marriage is their own as long as it doesn't affect me or the rest of my family.

"What happens if they're already in a clan?" He continued.

The two of us then proceeded to start discussing their exact position in the clan, my powers over it, as well as possible plans while we waited for the others to return.