Chapter 169: 8-1
Come to think of it, the hints were there from the beginning. The numerous cursed objects and dark artifacts collected by Lucius Malfoy, said to be his hobby. As an Auror, I confiscated them on several occasions and examined them firsthand. Items far too dangerous to ever be brought to light slumbered in the cellars of Malfoy Manor.
Furthermore, this was not limited to the Malfoys. Most pure-blood families hide secrets passed down through generations—for example, the Nott family's research into turning back time, Marvolo's Parseltongue, or the Peverell ring. It was simply that I had more opportunities to interact with the Malfoys and their secrets.
Hidden beneath Malfoy Manor was magic cultivated since ancient times, known only to their bloodline. It was, quite truly...
"Forbidden Magic."
I accepted the cypress wand from Draco's hand. With a faint smile on his pale face, Draco relinquished the wand without resistance. Looking up at him from close by, he wore the expression of a condemned man heading to the execution block.
"You said it to me. On Christmas morning—that day I cowered in fear over being me, over being Maria. You looked at me and said, ‘If you truly can’t accept it, then... I’ll find a way, even if I have to use Forbidden Magic.'"
I had thought he was exaggerating. I had laughed, believing it was quite the grand bluff for such a coward. —But he had been serious.
"That wasn't a joke at all. Just as you said, you had already delved into it. —Into 'Forbidden Magic'."
Only now did his hand hesitate, trembling as I reached out and took hold of it. A cold, tense hand. A hand trembling wretchedly, stranded with nowhere left to go.
I won't let you escape—and I won't run away anymore, either.
"You're the one who created this world, aren't you? Malfoy."
My grim reaper, beautiful even in his battered state, finally squeezed my hand back and gave a breathtaking smile, as if resigning himself.
"I wanted to see Astoria."
His bloodless lips whispered like a song.
“If I am meant to die here anyway... if I must die regardless, I only wanted to see her living smile just once more. That was the only regret lingering in my mind. I wanted to start everything over. And I knew how to do it.”
The Forbidden Magic hidden by the Malfoys—an ancient magic demanding an unimaginable price, a gamble of one's very life with no guarantee of success.
And the soul of Harry Potter was more than enough to stake upon it.
"This world is a miracle. A fragile miracle crafted from your flesh and bones, and my blood and desire. It is a hope built upon trampling your corpse."
Because his grip was so slender and weak, I reached out with the hand that had held the wand and enveloped his hand in both of mine.
"I wanted to extend her life, even just a little. I wanted to prolong the days I had with her. If it meant achieving that, I intended to use you completely. If your life was destined to vanish anyway, I thought I might as well take it for myself. Everything was for her and me... That was how it was supposed to be."
Overwhelmed by his own confession, he clearly lacked the courage to reach out any further. In his stead, I wrapped my arms around his back. Even as a grown man, his back was so slender, so fragile. What kind of terrible thing had he been hiding inside such a frail body?
"It wasn’t supposed to be like this. To have you... to have you so close. To be able to touch you. And for you—for Harry Potter to forgive Draco Malfoy..."
He tightly gripped the fabric on my back, crushing it. He clung to me. I knew it. Draco Malfoy is fragile. It was always sheer bravado that kept him alive. He had endured this far on nothing but papier-mâché hope.
"My calculations went astray... I never imagined I wouldn’t be able to let you go."
Weakling, spineless coward, craven, and underhanded Malfoy. You, who killed me. —My sweet, foolish man.
"And yet, you chose a double death with a hopeless wreck like me? How foolish of you..."
Holding Draco close, I collapsed to the ground. Though our clothes were already little more than rags, a lighthearted thought crossed a corner of my mind: my trousers are going to get dirty. And now, your tears and snot were being added to my shirt as well.
"I thought of nothing but you. Ever since the day I heard the name of the Boy Who Lived—Harry Potter." "Because I couldn’t afford to lose you until my goal was achieved, and the fate of the Wizarding World rested on your shoulders. No matter what it took, I wanted to claim 'Harry.' For Astoria. For myself."
Sitting on the ground, I stroked his back as he wept like a child throwing a tantrum.
"I wanted you, I needed you just as much as I did Astoria, and that feeling completely dominated me, messing up my head."
How helpless he was. How utterly, hopelessly flawed. And yet... how deeply beloved.
"My obsession with you... eventually took on the name of love."
Draco Malfoy was a fool. Having learned to act clever, he failed to realize that emotions are living things, even beyond the threshold of death. A master of Occlumency, he kept turning his eyes away from his true, monstrous desires that swelled up to swallow his reason whole... until, at last, it was too late.
"Being your friend... made me happy."
"Yeah."
His cool body temperature melted into mine, which was slightly higher than average, just like Harry’s had been. The school grounds mourning the dead were silent, the forest was dark, and dawn was still far beyond the horizon—it felt as though we were the only two living humans breathing upon the earth at this very moment.
It felt like a dream... like magic.
"—When did you remember?"
He whispered in a hoarse voice.
"I don’t know. Even now, I’m not entirely sure. Part of me feels like I've known for a very, very long time, while another part thinks I only just realized it upon looking at you a moment ago... But what about you? When did you remember being you?"
Mingled with the scent of the earth was his own scent. His unkempt hair tickled my cheek—soft, gentle, and lovely.
It was a comforting scent. A comforting warmth.
"I never 'remembered'. From the very beginning—from the moment I bound my life to this world as Draco Malfoy—I was always me"
He held me even tighter. As if to eliminate any space between us. As if saying he couldn't maintain his own shape otherwise, Draco kept his hold on me.
"Have you been waiting for me this whole time? Until we met at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions?"
"Yes. Just hearing rumors of the 'Boy Who Lived' wasn't enough to know how your memories had been carried over in this world... But you didn't remember. In fact, you weren't even Harry Potter. When you remembered your true desire, I looked at Maria and realized that was the limit."
Running my fingers through straight hair that belonged neither to 'me' nor to my past self, I let out a soft, gentle laugh. Savoring this fleeting moment, as the world held its breath, there were only Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, holding each other close.
"Ah, I see. So that was a ploy... You remember how you checked with me? Asking how far my memories went. You pretended to know nothing just to keep me away from the truth, saying you would investigate this world in my place... You liar."
Pressing cheek to cheek, intertwining our fingers, meeting each other's eyes—we smiled.
"Are you going, Harry?"
"Yes."
"Won't you stay?"
"Because it's the 'limit' you mentioned."
"Will my words not reach you? Even if I cry and scream that I love you right here, right now... will you not accept it?"
"I won't. I'm leaving everything behind."
Anthony's affection, your love, my promise to Ginny, my regrets toward Ron and Hermione, my vengeance involving Snape, Cho’s anger, the memories of those we lost, the pleas of those who loved Maria...
Leaving behind every single thing I received in this world, carrying only the pain, I will go with just this body—to where Harry is.
Because the burdens you, Harry, carry are always far too heavy, it’s only right for me, Maria, to remain empty.
Therefore...
"Draco... I love you."
This feeling, too, I will carve into you and let it go.
"Harry Potter, who lived as Maria Potter, loves Draco Malfoy."
"...Wait, please."
"I love you, Draco. No less than Ginny. Just as much as Ginny. So much so that even if you kill me... I can laugh about it."
"Stop it, please."
"I love you. I love you as a friend. I love my one and only accomplice. I love the cowardly you. I love the lying you. I love the you who wept looking at me."
"No, Harry. That's too cruel. Too merciless."
"Resent me, then. Hate me. That way, you'll never be able to forget me for all eternity. Be bound to me along with your emotions, Draco Malfoy... I’ll make you carry 'me' with you. My beloved."
"────!"
I pushed away Draco, who screamed silently without a voice. I stood up and didn't look back. I would never look back again. The story of Maria and Draco ends... right here.
“That is the love—the revenge—I give to you, who killed me. Malfoy, the villain who fell in love with the hero.”
I walked. And walked. My sight blurred, yet I kept walking.
It didn't matter if I stumbled. There was no light anyway, so I didn't need eyes to see. I didn't need a voice. Nor ears...
"Ugh... ah, ah, aaah, aaaaaaah...!"
Until the voice of the person I loved could no longer reach me, I kept walking.
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