Chapter 181: 3-3
For Maria Potter, the word "rendezvous" was synonymous with "the lake." Before they knew it, even without naming the place, he began waiting for Maria here—and Maria for him.
But this time, she didn't know if the meeting would go as hoped. She lacked confidence. After all, a rendezvous cannot happen without the "other person."
"...You came, didn't you."
The gamble paid off in my favor. A single man was gazing at the clear surface of the water, which reflected the same image no matter how the times changed. ...No, he wasn't looking at anything at all. His eyes were too deep, like an abyss, reflecting nothing. Poking my head out from under the Invisibility Cloak, I sat down next to the man without asking.
"Mr. Snape."
"…………"
Snape didn't make a single sound. So, I continued maliciously.
"You don't want to call me Maria or Evans, do you."
"…………You are,"
There was nothing to follow his barely squeezed-out voice. He is a person who knows me, Harry. If so, he should have easily been able to deduce who the "Maria" standing near Harry really is.
Because you are the only one who knows the meaning behind Maria's name.
"Why did you have a falling out with Lily?"
Snape didn't answer.
"You knew you would have a falling out—you understood best of all that Lily would never forgive you, so why couldn't you let it go? Was that talent more alluring to you than Lily?"
"…………"
The current situation proved that wasn't the case. His entire life, spent in atonement, showed it. And that is exactly why—I didn't understand.
"Why did Severus Snape love the Dark Arts?"
Snape, as expected, let his empty gaze escape to the surface of the water and muttered pitifully,
"Do you despise me as well?"
"...I don't know. Maybe I do. I don't have good memories of that kind of magic. But, if there was a reason behind it—for example, if it was based on your own convictions... I might not be able to understand it, but perhaps... I wouldn't deny it, either."
That is the difference between Lily and Maria. Lily, who had only ever seen beautiful things, lacked the flexibility to shoulder his darkness with him. Behind her mercy, affection, and justice was an absolute condemnation of anything she deemed evil.
To him, Lily Evans must have been his "faith." His god. Just as the fanatic Bellatrix was blind to Him───she was something that must never waver from her radiant place.
A gentle breeze blew, and the stars reflected in the water trembled.
"You're not alike."
"You think so?"
"Even though you are exactly alike in your meddling nature."
"Are you talking about the duel? Were you watching from somewhere?"
"Obviously. Because of me—no, not because of me. It was something you did on your own."
"Exactly. I picked that fight on my own."
I smiled just a little—and waited. Strangely, I didn't feel awkward. ...Perhaps because this was the place where I had continuously talked with you, my blond-haired boy.
"──Is there a need for me to tell you about it?"
I didn't hesitate.
"There is. My name proves it. Maria has the right to hear it."
"…………"
At my assertion, Snape shrunk in on himself, hugging his knees childishly. Resting his forehead on his raised knees, his hair—like a moonless night—acted as a curtain, covering his face.
"It started with a Love Potion."
One by one, the man forsaken by god made his confessions.
"My mother was a witch. We had a few magic books in the house, kept secret from my father. I suppose it was my mother's last shred of pride as a witch. I read them and learned magic."
"I learned that things called Love Potions existed. I understood that with magic, a person's heart could be changed. I researched to see if there was anything more powerful."
"The further I advanced my research, I realized there was a fitting reason why things were forbidden—they possessed that much power. And I realized that I had the qualifications... the power to manipulate them."
"That was all. That was all it was. I thought that maybe, if I just studied magic, I could obtain everything I had given up on────To me, magic was the only means, my only salvation! Good and evil had nothing to do with it."
Magic was everything, yet it was merely a tool──It was the same. Just like me, clinging desperately to magic to escape the Dursleys' cage. And—surely, just like Tom Riddle, too.
"I knew Lily would never forgive magic that existed to hurt others. If Lily ever understood that—if she understood me, then she wouldn't be Lily anymore."
"But, it wouldn't have mattered, would it? Because with magic, I could change her heart however I pleased! ...Even though something like that wouldn't truly be Lily. Even though the cruelty of the Lily I loved wouldn't be there."
Snape regretted it. Yet, he didn't hate the Dark Arts the way Lily did. —Because, to him, it was undeniably still his salvation.
"When I entered Slytherin House, my housemates valued me from the start because I was knowledgeable about the Dark Arts. For the first time, I was recognized by someone other than Lily. It felt comfortable──I finally had a place where I belonged."
"There was no way I could let that go. Ultimately, it was self-preservation. Outside, Lily would fiercely protect me. But when I returned to my common room, Lily wasn't there. I had to protect myself. To stay in Slytherin, to remain a comrade of Slytherin, I needed Slytherin-like effort and power."
"The means to achieve that was the Dark Arts."
When the man finished speaking, silence and a melancholic twilight returned to the area. I couldn't answer anything.
Severus Snape had thrown away his faith—Lily—for his own sake, just to survive.
"Do you despise me?"
"I don't know."
"You should despise me."
"I don't know."
"Call me a coward—a coward who cared so much about his own skin that he couldn't even stand by the person most precious to him!"
"I don't know...!"
"I────I am only capable of making her unhappy."
"I don't know anything, Snape."
I could see hair. Red hair, just like my mother's. Looking into the water's surface, my mother's face was there.
"All I know is that my name is 'Maria'."
"────"
Maria—that is all. The name my mother surely called out until the very moment of her death; that is everything.
"Such a, name...!"
In the end, Snape looked down. He never looked at Maria until the very end. I stood up and rubbed my chilled body. I lacked body heat. ──I'm missing your warmth, Draco.
"────That scar,"
I stopped in my tracks. It was Snape's voice.
"Shall I heal that scar for you?"
"...Why."
"I saw it. I know that scar well. It cannot be healed without my potion. ...Because I created it."
Unconsciously, I had been clutching my chest. The scar from the blade that deeply tore my body. The proof of my sin, your anger, and your lie.
"──That won't be necessary."
I looked back. My wind-blown hair caught the moonlight and shone.
"Because I will carry it like a treasure for the rest of my life."
Even without the burning, innate light that Lily had, I still have this body. ──I am "Maria."
"────"
Finally, our eyes met. Severus Snape looked at Maria Potter.
"Maria──was it your mother who gave you that name?"
"Yes. She is my pride and joy, a mother as beautiful as a white lily."
This time, I finally walked away from the lake. In the distance, I could see two messy heads of black hair peeking out. The smaller furball noticed me and bounced up and down, revealing their location. It looked like some strange animal, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Mother, your prayer has come true. With this, I wonder if I have become—even just a little—worthy of the name Maria."
You're amazing, Maria. As expected of mine and James's child! You, who would have smiled at me like that, are────nowhere to be found in this world.
Maria Potter was currently suffering the punishment of being enthusiastically hugged from both sides.
"Maria, Maria, are you truuuuly okay? Snape didn't make you cry with his snide bullying, did he?"
"He didn't..."
"You didn't accidentally pick a fight by trading insults and get cursed by Snape, did you?"
"I said I didn't... I'm not Harry, you know."
"I take offense to that!"
We were under the Invisibility Cloak. Three men—no, three persons—were noisily making their way through Hogwarts at night. Our destination was Gryffindor Tower.
"Even so, when Maria suddenly said she wanted to see Snape, I wondered what I was going to do to that greasy-haired git."
I glared coldly at James, who had begun stroking his wand while muttering Snape's name—apparently an unconscious habit. Harry joined me, looking at our father with eyes full of contempt.
"Dad, are you truly reflecting on your actions? It's a fact that your 'pranks' were one of the main factors that drove him into such a corner."
"That's... but he retaliated with some pretty underhanded tactics too... and it wasn't uncommon for innocent kids to get hurt by those original spells he created..."
""Both sides are to blame.""
Caught between his two children, the pathetic father was thoroughly scolded. I figured he should at least allow us this much. After all, we had a disastrous school life because of the collateral damage he caused. While we're at it, Maria would also deeply, deeply appreciate it if he reflected on passing down that ridiculous nickname he started.
"You have to be prepared for the fact that Snape will resent and hate you for the rest of his life."
I lowered my voice. The malice between them had become so tangled that it was completely impossible to tell who started it anymore—but both of them carry a responsibility that a lifetime isn't enough to make up for. I had prepared myself. Prepared for the fact that Amos Diggory, who lost his son, would resent me forever—and that Delphini, who lost her father, would eternally hate me.
"...Maria."
Suddenly, James patted my head. He then patted Harry's head as well. Looking up at the same time, we saw he was wearing the face of a father.
"Lily and I's children are such good kids."
""…………""
Taken aback, I suddenly became aware of a flush of heat gathering in my cheeks. After all, the only person acting as a parent who had ever done something like this to me—was Mother-in-law Molly.
Looking at Harry, he was surprisingly unfazed by it. Right, the Harry here had a much more mature Sirius than the one I knew—and me, Maria, acting as a parent figure since he was young. It wasn't fair.
"Whaaat a great reaction! Maria really is cute. You'll be popular soon enough."
"Maria has always been popular. Though she herself doesn't realize it at all. Well, but I guess it can't be helped. Since she has Draco, after all."
"……………………Draco, you say?"
Halt. Picking up on Harry's mutterings, James stopped dead in his tracks. Beside us, The Grey Lady floated past, looking suspicious and wondering, Who's talking?
"Draco as in—Draco Malfoy? Blond hair, looks exactly like his father, and ties his hair back in that snobby way?"
"Yeah. Did you meet him before, Dad? I don't know him, but—I think you've got the blond hair right."
"...And what exactly does he have to do with our Maria?"
"Boyfriend."
"Boyfriend."
"Engaged, by the way."
"Engaged."
Watching James parrot the words back with a face like an owl, I held my head in my hands, thinking, Oh no. It was a very familiar face. —It was the exact same face I made when Lily Luna came to announce her marriage!
"W-w-w—What, your dad does not approve of this! Malfoy... The thought of that overly pompous aristocratic boy becoming my son-in-law sends shivers down my spine!!"
"...Harry."
I glared resentfully at my brother, who had selfishly spilled the beans. Harry clearly knew exactly what he was doing, sporting an infuriating, cheeky smirk.
"Too bad Draco isn't here right now."
"Argh, I knew I should have slapped his pretty little face back then! If only I had known about him and Maria...!"
"You're being immature, Papa."
"Ugh."
James was shot down by a single word from his daughter. It was an incredibly déjà vu sight.
Incidentally, on the way back to Gryffindor Tower after this, there was a whirlwind of events—including a close call encounter with Peeves, Harry chasing him off by mimicking The Bloody Baron's voice, James finding this hilarious and trying to wake up all the students to hold a "Harry's Voice Mimicry Recital," and Lily sending him flying in anger—but since I'm already sleepy, I'll omit the rest.
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